PolkMoms.com

At our last MNO (moms night out), I brought up the topic of gender selection to the ladies at my end of the table and though this would be a good place to talk about it. You see – my husband and I are the “last hope” for a Wallace boy. (Obviously not all Wallace’s, but the Wallace’s in his family) While I would love to be able to give him that boy, I also don’t want to have to “keep trying” if we aren’t successful.

If you Google “Gender Selection” you will be flooded with different options and “advice” on how to conceive a boy or a girl – depending on what you are trying for. Some are high tech – like sperm sorting, that costs $30kplus…and others are low tech – like special diets, sleeping positions, ovulation tracking, etc.

The most popular is the Shettles Method. Among other things, such as diet, the Shettles method focuses around the timing of intercourse. It is believed that the male sperm swims faster, but can’t survive as long as the female sperm. So, if you are trying for a boy you want to have sex as close to ovulation as possible. Likewise, if you are trying for a girl, you want to have sex a few days before you ovulate.

What do you all think about this? Has anyone tried it? Do you think that it goes against nature? If you tried it – did it work?

I would love to get some feedback here on this!

Here I go... LOL. With my third one we did this. I tracked my cycle for a year. Read how it says to have intercourse a day before you are suppose to ovulate for a boy. It worked for me. I googled a program and I used it to help me track. It told me when I would get pregnant. And it had blue and pink for what would be the best time for each.
We used a similar program with Alayna- but we didn't shoot for boy or girl just went for ovulation dates.

My sister in law did this a few years ago. Not only did she track ovulation and plan intercourse 3-4 days prior to (she wanted a girl), she also adapted her and her husband's diet to raise/lower acidity (I forget which). She used a company that offerred a money back guarentee (I think she spent a few hundred dollars). She swears by it, she wanted a girl and that's what she got. I've always wondered if it worked for real or if she got lucky.

Wow! I never knew that you could really do that. It sounds interesting.

If you are really determined to get a certain gender, you should check out IVF with PGD. They do IVF, genetically screen the embryos, and only attempt to implant those embryos which are genetically healthy and, if you want, are only of a given sex.

Only problem is that it is rather expensive--IVF costs plus an extra 4000 to 6000 for PGD (depending on the clinic)

I am actually considering going this route for my next pregnancy (if I can convince myself to have 5 kids). At my age (late 30's), I like the reassurance of genetically prescreening embryos and selecting gender would be an added "bonus" to help balance the XX/XY ratio in my house.

As for the "low tech" methods, I have friends who were successful and not successful. It probably comes down to 50-50 with these methods (or 51-49 since boys are statistically more prevalent than girls).

Either way--good luck.

Ok, so this is what I've heard. If your husband keeps his "boys" cool your more likely to concieve a boy, if his "boys" stay warm your likely to concieve a girl. We didn't neccesarily try this, but it seems to be true in our case. Although we managed to prove another untrue. The hot tub is supposed to kill sperm (Cheap male birth control) not true!!! But I did get a girl, so the cool~boy...warm~girl seems accurate.

After my son was born, I thought I would never have another child. Eventually I thought I could try again..it would be nice to have two maybe. Wound up having a girl a few years later....but always said that if it was a boy, we would still stop at 2 kids. I have grown more maternal in my old age...maybe I would have tried for number three. I am actually having second thoughts about tying the tubes...so, even though it seems to go against nature, I can understand people wanting to select a sex...heck...birth control isn't natural either! My sister in law was crying recently because she found out she was having her second boy. My husband was so mad! I thought that was kind of mean to cry too, but then I remembered how hormonal we get when we're pregnant!

jmarr - Ive heard about this! Its called "gender dissapointment" and is actually quite common - although not as many people admit it as have it. A lot of people say "oh as long as its healthy" but deep down inside they actually have a preference.

I was reading an article the other day where a woman really wanted a girl (i think) and she kept trying, getting pregnant and finding out through early tests that it was a boy and she would abort! OMG - now this is WRONG! I think in the article she did it like 5 times before she had her girl. I cant believe her doctor let her.

I have never been shy about the fact that I wanted a girl - I love all the bows and dresses and dolls, etc. You get a whole other experience with proms, weddings, etc too. With 2 boys, baby #3 was unplanned and I was upset when I found out it was another boy - boo-hooing and all. I'm sure a lot of it was hormonal, #2 was only 4 months old when I got pregnant with #3, but not all. I was glad to have found out on the ultrasound so by the time he was born I had accepted it. I'm not proud of my reaction, but it was what it was. I spoiled the heck out of him when he was a baby, guilt I think about being disappointed months before. When I was pregnant with #'s 4 and 5 I didn't even get my hopes up, believed from the beginning they were boys, and they were. I don't think it's unnatural to hope for a certain sex, but I bet a lot of people don't like to admit it. I am careful around my boys not to make issue of it and to let them know I am happy with them. When strangers see us out in public, they always make the comment, 'trying for a girl huh?' and it sometimes bothers the older one. What's funny is we weren't really trying for a girl, out of the 5 only 2 were planned - we're just not good about birth control!

my husbands aunt was very depressed when she had her 3rd boy. my mom said she cryed for weeks afterwords. but about 13 yrs later she had an oops baby and it turned out to be a girl. she did finally get her girl.
my cousin also was very depressed. her and her husband wanted a boy soooo bad and she didn't find out what she was having any or the 3 times she tryed. her first was a girl and she was very depressed for a couple weeks. the 2nd was also a girl and she wasn't depressed but very dissapointed. she waited a couple yrs and number 3 she got her boy.

now i'll admitt i don't know what i'm having this time but way deep down i really want a boy so we can have one of each. it's ok if we have a girl, but like i said way deep inside i do want a boy. with my first one i really wanted a girl, i cryed when the doctor pulled her out and told me it was a girl i was sooo happy. i made him tell me twice it was a girl. lol

I always wanted a girl and was very shocked when I had three boys, I truly believed we did everyhting for a girl (shettles, diet) They even told me my older son was a girl on u/s..But this was 18 years ago, and he was breech. Was a shock in the delivery room though.
With my second husband we suffered through a lot of infertility issues and by the time we conceived, we didnt care boy or girl..truly. After 5 years of testing and treatment we just wanted a baby. With my last baby, we wanted a girl again and tried to sway the odds with timing and diet, but then had two misscarriages and then didnt care again, girl or boy. We have a baby girl now, pure luck
the best bet truly is ivf/pgd, but barring that you really only have a percent chance.

Courtney - You and your family members are so brave! (not finding out the sex). Oh my - I would die from the suspense - Im too much of a control, freek, lol!

i think now adays it's sooo uncommon not to find the sex out. when people ask what i'm having and i say i don't know they are truley shocked. and a lot of people don't believe me when i say i don't know. esp my mother in law. she thinks we know we really don't.
i really like the suprize, i have been having dreams on what it's going to be so i'm excited to see if my dreams are giving me the right clues.

I actually bought the Shettles book...I'm that bad...lol. Its called "Choosing the Sex of your Baby". I'll admit, with #2 I wanted a girl SO bad that even after they told me he was a boy I kept having crazy dreams where he turned out to be a girl, or where I opened the blanket and saw his pee pee and started crying. Hahaha. Just dreams though. When he was born though, I looked at him and just fell in love. The cool thing about babies is once their personality develops its not so much about "boy" or "girl" or "another boy", they're just this whole seperate person from your other children. Special, unique, funny...etc. My first son is so goofy and sensitive and my second is a Mommy's boy all the way and very very brave (I'm talking, this is the kid that would jump off the couch or bed and not think twice about it!)
But, I definitely still feel the longing to have a girl. I have 4 sisters and a stepsister so I always just assumed I would have girls. Plus, I realize my sons will always be my boys but I feel like a girl sticks closer to her mother and asks her advice more often. Maybe its selfish, I just love girlie stuff and want to take her bra shopping and show her how to scrapbook and talk about sex and her period and other stuff. That's just me though...
My husband and I did decide that with the next one we're not going to find out the sex. As bad as it might sound I know if it was a boy I would be disappointed in the ultrasound room, but I KNOW I won't in the delivery room!!

Also, HERE is a cool link to this site called "in-gender". It just talks about different methods, they have a forum, and even speak about gender disappointment (i think its very real, but perfectly okay...that doesn't make you a bad mother!)