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I do not say that breastfeeding in public is an issue. I just feel that if someone is going to be doing that then they need to be sure they are covered. If my 3 year old can see a woman's breast and ask what she is doing that is not making sure she was covered... not to mention this lady had her shirt lifted to where you seen everything.
Breast are for feeding yes- but in the world we live in breast are being related to "sex" not breastfeeding. I think that people should just respect those around them- if their are people around at least be sure your skin is covered. Same goes for people around not to stare. But there are so many perverts and sex offenders being covered seems to be safe. 1 tired mommy posted about changing diapers in public would be child porn... parents get charged with indecent exposure if they let their son go behind a bush and someone sees it- If you look at it from this prospective- how can a parent get in trouble for letting their child go "pee" but yet a mother showing all while breastfeeding is not an issue?? **I personally know of someone who was charged for letting their child go on the side of the road behind a bush. The child was only 3 so they didn't think it would be an issue... turned out to bite them big time.** Melissa- Mommy to four!! Felicity, Alayna, Bryson and Gavin |
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Uh, wow! That is news to me. I will not lie, it has happened to me. Soon after I potty trained Ryan he had to go "right then" and whipped it out to go and I ran him with pants down to a bush.  I am glad he can show constraint now.Everyone is bringing valid points to the table. I know when I was breast feeding- When Ryan would cry or "root" my milk would just pour out of me. I physically didn't have a choice to wait. I either had to latch him on or I would be soaked to my waist in milk. I think instinctively it can be easy for moms to be oblivious to all around them except for their needs of their baby. I do know that Eddy, my ultra conservative husband, is uncomfortable around breastfeeding moms and would always be mortified when I breastfeed in public, even when discreet. ~Mother to Brandon, Austin, Ethan, Ryan and Lillian~ |
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My husband is a little uncomfortable with me doing it in public but I do anyway! I really doubt that men are looking at BF women and lusting after them. And I wouldn't want to be married to a man like that anyway. But it's insane for other women to think we're trying to intice thier husbands with our breastfeeding. Is there anything less sexy that you can do with your breasts?.... Although, i've heard mammograms are pretty bad
 Breastfeeding mama to Andrew |
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Yes! Read Mothering Magazine. It's is a wonderful resoure. I nurse my 3 month old wherever and whenever he needs to be nursed. Church included. I did that with my daughter, too.
Now, when my daughter sees me nurse my son, she runs to get one of her babies, lifts her shirt, and nurses it, too. I can't think of one embarassing thing about that. She understands at 3 what the breast is for. I have other children walk in to the empty room where I was nursing. If they ask what I am doing, I just explain that I am feeding my baby. I have never every had a parent be upset about that. As for nursing in public, I have no problem with that and my husband is very supportive. Really, what is more important, the opinion of strangers or taking care of your baby? For me, it's a no brainer. Plus, it's not like you are taking your shirt off to nurse. |
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Andrewsmommy- I don't think anyone is saying breast feeding women are trying to entice their husbands. I know I am more concerned with we don't know what sets sexual predators off and if you're bf in public and they see more then they should it could put you at a major risk.
bryssy- my kids seen me pumping when they would walk in and they knew what I was doing. It isn't really that I don't tell them what is going on it is more the fact that if bf the right way people would not see you breast at all. (From reading what is on here most just lift their shirt and you can't see anything. The lady we came upon you couldn't even tell she was wearing a shirt. Breastfeeding is caring for your child and yes most people will care for their child no matter what others think in public. But as you said its not like you are taking of your shirt... but in the incident that we came across thats what it seemed to be- shirtless breastfeeding... Again I have no problem with people breastfeeding in public as long as people around can not see their breast... Melissa- Mommy to four!! Felicity, Alayna, Bryson and Gavin |
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WOW, I WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS ONE, TO GET ARRESTED FOR LITTLE MAN PEEING IN THE BUSHES, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THAT HIT A COURTROOM. Momma always said, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get. Forrest Gump Link |
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Trisi61502 - I am sorry for you and your daughters experience. But alot of factors would have to be considered about the mother in your case. (Regardless though I do not think it is appropriate for a mother to be threatened nor actually arrested for such a natural thing as nursing her child)
For example what culture does she come from? America is made up of so many cultures that the way a baby is nursed may be part of their culture as well as how long a baby is nursed. What economic status is she in? Nursing shirts are not cheap. In my mothers day of nursing she wore button down shirts as nursing shirts were not made but even button down shows more than one might like. "It isn't really that I don't tell them what is going on it is more the fact that if bf the right way people would not see you breast at all." What is the right way? It is very hard at least from my experience to learn to nurse your child and I had plenty of help from both the hospital and family whom all nursed, but teaching a baby how to latch on is not easy and teaching a mother how to help them without getting upset is not easy either. The right way in my opinion is however mother and child bond and are comfortable feeding/eating and in some cases this may be showing more than some may like. And strangely enough how big are her breasts? Larger breasted women do seem to find it more difficult to be more discreet without having to throw a blanket over themselves and their baby and as said before it is so hot in Florida not to mention with all those hormones still going crazy that for some a blanket does more harm than good for both mother and baby. My sister in law was a mother with large breasts and I witnessed it every time she fed her girls regardless of whether she was in a nursing shirt or a button down or whatever it was just very difficult for her to be more discreet but this should not mean that she automatically had to cover up with a blanket for others comfort. I can remember even in a nursing shirt inside an air conditioned building I would be sweating horribly while feeding my boys. I was approached many times by both children I did not know and by my own nephews and neices about what I was doing with the baby and I always said I was feeding them with Mommys milk. This is what we called it in my family "Mommy's milk" This always seemed to make them content whether they understood or not. |
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I have been at little league baseball when a mom would start breastfeeding and the men would get up and leave and the boys on the team would stop and look. In this situation I think she should of maybe moved so parents could comfortably watch their kid play and some of the team wouldn't be alittle distracted by it. I am not against it all but what I observed I could tell many others were annoyed by it.
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I am so surprised about the experiences of others! It makes me so sad, too.  We've never once had any issue while breastfeeding our boys and we did for longer than most. We never got one stare that was ugly, any rude comments, stopping traffic, or a ball game, or dinners out, no one ever stopped shopping or standing in line at a theme park. We've breastfed in the middle of church, too, and no pastor has ever stopped his sermons nor has any member ever given me a second look. I never had men or young boys stare at me or anything like what anyone has described. I never wore special shirts and never showed skin and believe me, I did have my husband make sure. lol For us, it was also a matter of faith beliefs and not wanting to physically expose myself either. It was very natural for myself and our boys and I just worked them into our positions very comfortably without any big production of saying, or drawing attention to what we were doing, we just did it. I've held conversations and carried on with our activities without a thought, maybe that put others at ease and weren't quite sure - I can't say, but I'm so glad we had the experiences we did, the thumbs up from other moms and knowing smiles of encouragement from both moms and dads and on the off chance a child did ask, which was rare, my reply was always "We're nursing" I have no idea if another mother had to explain what we were doing to her own children, but we never witnessed anything that was an overly negative response to what is the most natural thing in the world. I like what others have mentioned about cultures and what our country has taken as natural and made into something sexual. Also, size is of issue, too. For me, that wasn't, so it made for ease of breastfeeding and better control of how we did. Also, for the sake of the thread, though, as I mentioned before, no mother should be threatened with arrest for breastfeeding her baby. The courthouse or jail really isn't a place I'd want to personally be openly exposed for breastfeeding. For the fact that yes, while there are criminal creeps and perverts roaming around all day long and we may never know it and still be breastfeeding in front of them, the likelihood of a courthouse or jail having more than normal of that type of person goes up dramatically and for that reason, safety is an issue. For us, personally, we would have asked for a nearby room or stayed in the last row of the courtroom, sometimes, being in a crowd, one is less likely to be as noticed. Michelle "Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain but for the heart to conquer it." Tagore CARDBOARD TESTIMONIES Self Reflection  "Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam" |
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Well say it was not her breastfeeding just standing in the hall- if they told her to move several times and she refused would it be okay for them to have threatened arrest then?? Another thing- if a man gropes himself and someone complains he can be charged with sexual misconduct. Andrewsmommy made a comment about butts and legs- Legs are body parts that are seen bare skin on just about everyone- before women use to have to keep their legs covered. Now with the butts- I'm sorry I'd rather a man keep that covered- its disgusting to see crack on a guy that is a larger size- I am just saying how is it okay for someone to bf and not be modest to try to stay covered- but yet its not okay for a child to use the bathroom or a man to grope himself it he has an itch... My girls know why I pumped and they knew what it was for. There is nothing embarrassing about that. As several stated they have breastfeed and no one knew they were doing it or were around others that they didn't even know where breastfeeding. My aunt breastfeed both her children and we didn't know she was doing it. There are just thin lines with the laws and exposure that it makes it hard to say okay you can feed your baby and everyone can see your breast when there are other body parts that must be covered or its indecent exposure. Everyone has their views of course and of course I don't think anyone is wrong in what they feel this is my opinion and I feel if a mom is bf in public she should at least try to respect those around her and be a little modest. Melissa- Mommy to four!! Felicity, Alayna, Bryson and Gavin |
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Tripsi, I have read every state law and the ONLY one that says you may breastfeed in public for up to 1 year is Tennessee. And BTW There is not a thin line when it comes to BF. A mother may breastfeed without being considered indecent WETHER OR NOT THE NIPPLE SHOWS anywhere she has the legal right to be. PERIOD! This is what the law states! there is no confusion in BF laws. Heaven help the person that says something nasty to me about BF! We're not talking about whole boobs hanging free. We're talking about being seen for a flash when baby latches on or the rest of the breast being shown while baby is nursing. And a lot of women show that much boob on a reguar basis. Are they being threatened with arrest? Are sexy women being asked to leave public places because they are a distraction? NO! Women are being threatened and told to leave because they are BREASTFEEDING not because they are showing too much skin. It's disturbing. Now, with all my ranting, I do cover up with a blanket but I don't think I'm going to anymore! I just wish people didn't think that BF should be hidden or discreet. How are we gonna raise BF rates if no one knows about it. Especially with younger moms. They need to see BF women because so many of them just automatically feed baby formula, like there's no other way.
Breastfeeding mama to Andrew |
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tripsi I had been thinking something similar to part of your post and was worried about putting it on here!
My thought was in response to the legs and butt analogy ~ if a man pulled out his penis (can I say that Shawn?) to urinate in front of women and children in a public place he would be arrested. Why should that be? It is a completely natural, non-sexual act, imperative to his well-being...just like breastfeeding. Now before anyone freaks out, I am NOT saying that I think urinating in public is in any way, shape or form appropriate. I'm simply offering it up for an example to consider. And before the argument of "he can hold it until he finds a restroom" comes up, sometimes when you've gotta go, you've gotta go And AndrewsMommy, in response to where you said "we're not talking about whole boobs hanging free," I think that <i>is</i> what a lot of us are referring to. Not the idea of breastfeeding in general, but the idea of <i>some</i> women feeling that they should be able to bare their breast whenever, wherever and however they feel like it in the name of breastfeeding (see my original post for an example). To wrap up my rambling thoughts, please don't anyone take personal offense to any of my opinions. They are just that, my opinions. I respect differing thoughts and enjoy the exchange of ideas. |
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yes Tennessee does say that... and what state was this mother in that this forum is about ... Umm Tennessee. Like I said before everyone is entitled to there own opinion. I think its unfair for a person to be charged with doing something wrong when their child has to pee in a bush. I know it says its not considered indecent- but when I see more than what I should thats when it becomes indecent- the lady we came across looked as if she didn't have a shirt on at all. She was not a small breasted woman- I have come across others that you can't tell what they are doing- but coming across this lady is why I think people should be respectful and modest- laws or no laws- bf women should take into consideration whats around them. Like it was stated at the ball game- all the dads moved and the boys turned to look... Your going to tell me the mom couldn't have be a little modest and be a little bit more private knowing there are young hormonal teens around. Thats where I'm trying to get to. NO PROBLEM WITH BF IN PUBLIC- just when your BARE ALL or it is causing problems as it did at the game there should be a little bit more respect. Breastfeeding isn't hidden if your baby is to your breast and your shirt is pulled down- people still know what your doing. Getting your baby latched on in a way that it doesn't draw everyones attention shouldn't be that hard. I find a problem with it when bf mothers make a scene and draws attention to something that shouldn't need an audience.
As for a younger moms breastfeeding. I use to work in the midwives office most of the girls 13-18 didn't want to breastfeed they felt uncomfortable with it. And the ones that did come in breastfeeding would ask to go in private as they didn't want people watching them. I am a young mother and I tried- I pumped because I couldn't get my to latch on right. This is the only case I've seen where someone has been threaten with arrest. I don't think they had issues with her breastfeeding just issues with her being in a hall where prisoners were walking through and they didn't want any problems. Like I asked before if she was just standing there with her child and was asked to move and refused would there be a problem if they threatened her with arrested after refusing to move. I feel they were looking out for the best interest of the woman and the child. Not to mention SEVERAL people complained about seeing her breast- so if people seen it what makes you think the prisoners walking through couldn't see it. We live in a world full of perves and I honestly think they were looking out for her best interest- Melissa- Mommy to four!! Felicity, Alayna, Bryson and Gavin |
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I am really disheartened by some of the replies here. I would think that as mothers we would all want whats best for our children, and agreeable for a baby breastmilk is the best. We know it from studies, and nature.
First of all, I would like to say that I am a breastfeeding mother, to a daughter who is 16 months old. I do breastfeed in public when necessary and I do not use a blanket or something else to cover up, because as someone else said it is Florida and it is hot, and I'm not going to put my baby's comfort in jeopardy for some complete strangers comfort. That being said, I've never had any trouble BF in public. I consider myself discreet and I believe for the most part, most BF moms ARE. I have never encountered any that rip their shirts off in public to feed their babies, and I think it's unfair for anyone in here to say that is what the mother in this topic was doing unless you were actually there and witnessed it! And I really doubt it since she was in a government building! Also, as far as men or whoever being uncomfortable, or for that matter saying that they were looking out for her well being because of "perverts" or "sexual predators" ask yourself, who made people in our society feel this way about breasts. To think that a man would become aroused at the flash of exposed skin from a woman breastfeeding is atrocious! It is this society that has caused the uber-sexualization of breasts! Don't punish a woman for doing what is naturally endowed to her to do. Breasts were created for feeding babies, they were not created to be lusted after by men, and fantasized about. That is just what the society that WE live in (because in other parts of the world, breastfeeding IS the norm) that has put this shame on women! It is TERRIBLE! And before you start attacking me with "I bottle feed and I do what is best for my kids, it's just as good, etc." and ESPECIALLY this nonsense about "a man peeing is natural so why dont they do it in public" I want you to all ask yourselves this: How did your great grandmothers feed your grandmothers? How were our ancestors nourished before Nestle Goodstart and Enfamil? Do you think that back THEN men were "offended" or "uncomfortable" with a mother breastfeeding? No. Because it was NORMAL that was how their children were thriving! If you're going to say that a woman shouldn't do that in public, or put stipulations on her that she can absolutely show no skin at any time, that is just ridiculous and I think that the breastfeeding mother should be able to say the same thing about bottle feeding mothers. What an uproar there would be if someone said they were offended by seeing the unnatural act of bottle feeding! So, lets think about that ladies, before we start casting stones! And as a final note, I'm sure this woman didn't think "hey let me sit here and expose myself for fun"! The baby lets you know when he/she is hungry, it's not something you can help and I'm pretty certain it's the same whether you breastfeed or not! |
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AMEN! I have stayed out of this because, well it's just one of those hot button issues and I just didn't have the energy. I too have breastfed both my kids for an extended period (17 and 16 months) - I have done so discreetly in public and thankfully have never, ever encountered a negative look or comment. I blogged about this whole issue a while back when Bill Maher raised a whole lot of hackles with his comments on breastfeeding in public - it just irritates me beyond belief that people take what is a simple act of nurturing a baby and keep on turning it into this whole controversial issue - it does not need to be this way - I think a lot of society just needs to do some growing up! |
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