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My husband say I hold my son to much.... but who is to say when pickin him up or playing with him and not doing house work is bad. he's been saying this since he was 2 months old. I just give him the look of death and disregard him. I believe in reassuring my son with hugs and kisses and picking him up when I feel he needs alittle love. How do you explain this to a stubborn man who thinks you are making your child needy, and when does the holding stage start to tapper off, I am 3 months prego and need to reassure the DH everyhing will work out. even with a new baby.

You can never hold your child too much. I've heard the argument that they'll become too dependent on you, pish posh. If anything you're teaching them trust and a sense of security. Also, if you're holding a lot the baby will inevitably be interacted with more which will do nothing but good things for their learning to speak, learning social skills, etc.

I agree 100%...I am a 51-year-old mother and I held my baby (he is 17) whenever I felt like it or whenever HE wanted me to...and you CANNOT hold a child too much. They DO learn to trust you and they will stay close to you in later years as well. You ARE able to teach them more when they are in your lap/arms and it just creates bonding with mother and child. To this day we are close and share a bond...it WON'T spoil him/her. I always told him that I would never run out of kisses and hugs. Hold that child...you won't regret it if you do, and you might if you don't...they grow SOOOOOO fast!!
Maryann
Mother to a GREAT 17-year-old!

I agree that you should hold your child as much as possible. You also want them to learn motor skills too, so lots of time on the floor and on the tummy is great. Also, when you have other little kids at home, it's hard to hold your child a lot without neglecting the others...hands free baby wearing is great for that. I have 2 herniated discs, so the baby wearing ended early for me. With my first baby, I think I had a touch of depression. I didn't like to hold him a lot. I would get mad when he would cry because I had no idea what to do. I regret it now, and I am greatful my mom was there for the first two months to help out. I am so much more maternal and loving with my second child, so I really think it was just hormones or something the first time around. I am not completely blaming my depression for my son's current issues, but I always wonder how he would differ if I would have held him more...or is this is just how he was wired to begin with...I sort of beat myself up over it sometimes...so I say HOLD THOSE BABIES! But don't feel guilty to let them cry a little if you have to...we only have two hands!

I was accused of this with all of my babies, probably the most with Ryan. He just wanted my attention the most. If a baby wants to be held, then I am so bad about giving in. You would be amazed what all I can accomplish walking around with a baby. Now I look at all the slings that we have been discussing here and think, "wow I could have made it easier!"

I got a lot of grief from loads of people telling me I was spoiling my kids but hubby was my number one complainer of this. I just think it is natural to hold babies and thought that eventually they will not let me.

It is interesting to see personality and individualism in little ones. Lilly of course loved to be held as a babe too but not 24/7 like Ryan. Ethan was somewhere in the middle of them. Ryan to this day still likes to be held by mom, Lilly is little miss independent and will fight and struggle against a hug hold.

My take, hold them while you can when you can!

I don't know how I missed this?? Neither my husband nor I think there is ever too much holding of babies. They don't have one clue - yet - of how to manipulate for spoiling. All they know of the world is through your arms - and as others here have mentioned - there will come a day they won't be in your arms.

We take FULL advantage of them now! Yes, we take full advantage of ours - we want all the hugs we can get and take now. lol

Seriously, though, there really isn't any reason not to hold and love on your baby as much as you and he want. Both of ours were little snugglies as babies and still are - will hop into our laps at any moment of their own accord and ours. We are deeply grateful for this - one day they'll be on their own and we won't be able love and snuggle - we don't want any regrets of the time and experience of this joy.

We also both believe that holding and loving them this way creates a deeper bond - it's at these times our boys open up and share more from their little hearts than others.

I think you should share how you feel with your husband - remind him that by going with your son's needs - meeting them this way - will make him more confident down the line and more trusting of and open with the two of you - in our opinion, anyway - and from things we've read - it's our hope. As others have said - do what you feel you should do!

Honestly, I am a little torn on this one. I know we need to love and creating a loving and nurturing environment for our children.....BUT..they also need to realize that they cannot live every moment in my arms! I guess with me, I had (still have to) to work so sending them to my wonderful Publix daycare, still meant that someone could not hold them 24/7 like they would want. When they learned to sit up and crawl, they would interact with others and learn to play........rather than sit in someone's lap. Now, when I was home, I of course wanted to get all that I could and that is probably why I rocked them to sleep as that was "my" time but then again, my husband and I had to fight over that.
I still appreciate that my 2 year old wants me to pick him up and hold him for a little bit but I cannot do that all day or forever! They do have to learn some independence while being in a loving environment at the same time.
I just think it takes a healthy balance!!