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Picture of mamachele
Posted
My husband thinks his 6 1/2 month old son hates him, because my son does not want to be put to bed by him or changed by him just wants him to look at pretty much and on baby terms, I have tried getting my husband to do it with the mommy so baby gets use to you but he won't he says I am just not the Mama, please help me explain to my husband how a baby thinks & responds, thanks in advance for any advice


Van's Mama and soon to Gabriel
 
Posts: 92 | Location: Winter Haven | Registered: 24 February 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of Shawn Arnold
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Hey Michele, glad to see you back Smiler. I have this problem with Lilly even now. I can understand your husband’s frustration having seen it through my own hubby. I think it breaks my husband’s heart sometimes when Lillian doesn’t want to go to him. I think you have the right idea about doing tasks together. It's important for your husband to not give up and try to be in your son's sight as much as possible. I think for some babies, this is natural. I can see during the week Lilly doesn’t want to go to Eddy when he comes home from work, (she is such a momma's girl) but on weekends, when she is consistently with him, she warms up and becomes a daddy's girl too. Time and age has definitely improved our situation here. There are so many stages in our little ones lives. Ask him to be patient and good luck.


~Mother to Brandon, Austin, Ethan, Ryan and Lillian~
 
Posts: 2614 | Location: Bartow | Registered: 13 February 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of guitarjee
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That's a hard one mamachele. I had a similar experience, only with my daughter's autism it was slightly different, in that my daughter chooses favorites, and for the longest time, Daddy was not included. He had to make lots of extra effort to overcome this with her, even when she'd be acting up or ugly to him, he'd give her extra hugs. And believe me, at times it wasn't easy at all for him, but he did it. (It was a long, arduous process though, but their relationship is better now for it.)

I'd suggest in your case though, appeal to your husband's maturity by encouraging him, as the adult, to see that a 6 month old is not capable of knowing what's what yet. And it is up to your husband to a degree to nurture closeness, even when it's difficult at first, the child doesn't have this responsibility, it's purely a matter of capability to begin with.

And as hard as it might be, if you're frustrated by your husband's frustration, try to give hubby extra love too, especially when he demonstrates a willingness to go the extra step with baby. It might not happen overnight, but don't give up, some things take more time, but in the end, the reward can be even sweeter.


Just call moi Rachel or Gjee. Smiler (Or Priestess, or Thor, lol)

"When words leave off, music begins."
--Heinrich Heine
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Posts: 402 | Location: Home, where the heart is. | Registered: 25 February 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of AJBrock
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May be you should have your husband try and do other things with your son, such as walks or trips to the store. I feel like these were great bonding times with my son and husband. I do not feel like Sebastian prefers one of us over the other but he seems to view his daddy as a great playmate. If Marc is just running to the store for a few things he has the time to let Sebastian play around and really enjoy the trip, unlike if I am shopping with a huge list and trying to convince him that being in the buggy is the best thing. I think this playful angle must work because all of our friends children prefer Marc over me. As a matter of fact I am still waiting on a certain little girl to say my name but you can bet she has been saying Marc for months now. Razzer
 
Posts: 41 | Registered: 25 February 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of Hermanita
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lol Alma if you're referring to Lilly, I'm pretty sure she just has an issue saying names that start with A. I'm still "Mamer". She's probably just trying to figure out what letter to start your name with since she doesn't like the letter A lol Smiler
 
Posts: 12 | Registered: 25 February 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of Shawn Arnold
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Lol, You are right, Lillian doesn't say your name yet, lol. I think you and guitarjee are giving great advice to Michele, Thank you.


~Mother to Brandon, Austin, Ethan, Ryan and Lillian~
 
Posts: 2614 | Location: Bartow | Registered: 13 February 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Picture of mamachele
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I just want to say thanksfor all your encouragement and guideance It is very hard with my husband and I try everyday with him, He does not make it easy . American since you mentioned the smoke smell I do believe the baby is not liking that. My son will play with daddy and snuggle with him in the mornings but at night is a no go My husband quit smoking cigrettes but has now picked up cigars, which I think is worst. but think the baby smells that on him and he does not like it. thanks again for all the advice from everyone I will keep up on trying with my husband. I guess i needed the extra boost.


Van's Mama and soon to Gabriel
 
Posts: 92 | Location: Winter Haven | Registered: 24 February 2008Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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We know you are a busy mom and that's why we've created this site to make your life as a parent a bit easier - as well as more fun. PolkMoms.com moderator Shawn Arnold is the mother of five children ranging from 18 months to 17 years. Her experiences include being a divorced mom, single mom, working mom, dating mom, remarried mom, stay-at-home mom, and a stepmom.   More about us and our editor