I have a 17 month old and a 5 week old infant. My oldest becomes hysterical if I even go to take a shower. He wants me to constantly hold him, and I don't want to even describe how he is if I try to leave without him. I know alot of this is because of the new baby, but does anyone have any tips or advice for me?

-Mommy to Jake and Caleb

I can offer nothing but I am anxoius to hear what the experienced moms say. We are expecting in November and also have a 17 month old.
Good Luck and share the tips that really work.

My only advice is give it time, plenty of reassurance and lots of hugs and cuddles.

I've been through this, although my oldest was just shy of 2 when her brother was born. She was extremely jealous and acted up a lot.

It's hard to pull the ever patient mommy routine when you're dealing with a newborn and all the hormones and sleep deprivation that comes with it.

I don't think there is any magic formula as each child is different - we just did our best on a day to day basis to keep everyone happy (and unharmed!) and with time things got much better.

Now? My kids are 3.5 and 1.5 and they are the best of pals - they play well together and my son wants to imitate everything his big sister does.

It may not help you to know it now, but 'this too shall pass'

Hoosiermama,
I read this yesterday as I was running out the door. I didn’t have time to respond then, but knew I wanted to come back to you.

I agree with Albee 100%. Time was my immediate thought in this. I know it may seem an ordeal to deal with this but take it one day at a time and know it will get better.

My youngest children are 2 years apart. I went through this too. I think 17 months old is an age to be attached sometimes with or with out a younger sibling. Hold out and try to give as much reassurance as you can to your oldest.

Part of being a momma is going through phases. Teething phase, terrible 2's phase, even biting phases. This too should be a phase that will pass.

I also agree with Albee, once your little one gains their feet and freedom, you will have a tag along buddy for your older child. Mine are inseparable now!

Good luck, keep us updated, and know this phase should pass.

I have 2 boys (now 3 & 4 yrs old). My oldest was 16 months old when my youngest was born.
It is difficult to have 2 that close together.
I found that what helped is getting the older one involved. He was old enough to go get me a diaper for the little one, or to throw one away. He really enjoyed helping in any way he could. Even when the newborn was crying, my oldest would make faces, or try to make him laugh. He would always tell me what he thought was wrong with the baby.
What will help the most, is time, but I found with mine, that the older one really enjoyed ''helping'' in any way that he thought he could, (helping me hold the bottle - anything).

It does get easier though. Now, they play together all the time - they are best friends.

boys mommy, your post brought back fond memories! Ryan loved helping too with his little sis.

Great advice, thanks for posting!

Thanks everyone

WELL I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THIS WILL HELP BUT THIS IS WHAT I DID.
FIRST OF ALL YOU NEED A DOUBLE STROLLER,
SECONDLY LOTS OF FRIENDS WITH SMALL CHILDREN,
AKA (ALOT OF US)
I USED TO PACK EM UP IN THE STROLLER AND WALK LAKE HOLLINGSWORTH WITH MY FRIENDS, AND YOU WOULD BE SUPRISED ON HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU CAN MEET THERE. NOT TO MENTION YOU GET ALL THIS GREAT EXCERCISE. SAME THINGS WITH THE LOCAL PARKS, THERE ARE MANY SHADE TREES, YOUR 17 MONTH OLD CAN PLAY AROUND, NOT A WHOLE LOT BUT SOME, AND YOU CAN HAVE A PICNIC. BE CREATIVE.....I KNOW, I KNOW, ITS THE MOTIVATION, AND GETTING SOMEONE TO DO IT WITH YOU. BUT I CAN TELL YOU I STILL STRAP MY 3 YEAR OLD IN A STROLLER AND WALK THE LAKE OR PARKS, ETC. WITH WHOEVER WILL GO WITH ME, IF YOU WANT ON A SATURDAY (BECAUSE I DO WORK DURING THE WEEK) AND I CAN SHOW YOU THE ROPES. JUST SOME IDEAS. LOVE YA, BEEN THERE.

I'm new to the group, but this is something I've been through twice. I have a 4 year old boy, 2 year old boy and 6 month old girl. You can't do much about the clinginess when you're around, but YOU need breaks from it. We try to set up "special Daddy time" with the older kids or have Nana or a friend take them for a little while. It will make it easier for you to handle the time with your 17 month old and you'll enjoy that time more. I know as Moms, we're always the last to ask for help, but it's a necessity to survive!