http://www.theledger.com/article/20080624/NEWS/80624038...ses_Parents__Concern

I saw this article in today's paper & I thought it was interesting. Has anyone experienced or had to deal with bullies with their child? We struggled with this last year at my daughter's school. How it started it was my daughter defended another friend that was being picked on so the spotlight was then off the girl & now on my daughter. It wasn't anything major, being third grade, it was just name calling & but it still bothered my daughter.

I spoke with her teacher but it didn't get any feedback really other than "kids are kids." It almost made me feel stupid for trying to talk to her about it. I know kids are kids, and I wasn't trying to fight my daughter's battles, but I did want her teacher to be aware that there could be a problem.

How I solved it was one day I went to the school to have lunch with her. It is a little class so they all sit at one rectangle table. As she was introducing me to everyone in her class, she got to her tormentor and I said "Hi Suzie (not her real name!) I have heard soooooo much about you." I am really not sure if I helped, but after that day it all stopped.

That was a good idea. I bet it embarassed the bully. My kids haven't started school yet, so I haven't experienced it myself yet.
But, my nephew was being picked on last year - He is the shortest one in his class.
My sister-in-law went to the school, and talked to the principal as well as his teacher.
Nothing was done about it.
Not real sure if this was related, but once he started being picked on, his grades really took a drop.

Sadly, I bet his grades were a direct result of being picked on.

Maybe in certain cases the teachers & principals think that doing something about it will make the problem worse??

My daughter dealt with this problem in middle school, came home with bruises one day, and the school had not even called me to let me know.

You better believe I was upset, and made a fuss. When she went back to school, one of the counselors literally followed her around for some time after that, he watched out for her. But I do believe bullying can have a very negative impact, and can affect the person bullied for many years after.

I've always taught my kids not to fight back or they'd get into trouble at school. But, sometimes I wonder if that's actually the best thing? To be fair, it's one of those tough areas to figure out as a parent. I have friends who tell their kids they should defend themself? And I half wonder if that's not better. I don't know, a real tough one, especially given the fact growing up hasn't gotten any easier for kids, violence everywhere is so much more prevalent than what I remember, although, as a kid growing up, it was still there, I just think there's more and more of it.